Mental Weather
Mental health and feelings of well-being are actually our natural state, but they get covered up through life and our conditioning, like scratches on glass distort an otherwise clear view.
As newborns, we react and respond to life naturally without thought or limitation. As we grow up, we are influenced by our experience and adapt to people’s expectations or guidance. We subconsciously try to fit in, by managing our behaviour. This is normal and natural, but it’s worth being aware of this.
Change coaching looks to uncover the natural mental health at our core, through understanding how the mind works to filter and manage life. The mind will look for patterns and plug gaps to make sense of the world, but this can lead to misunderstandings and limitations. Once we understand this, we can uncover any layers of misunderstanding to give us more peace of mind and ease.
This approach to mental health is very hopeful, simple and gentle. We look towards innate mental health and maintaining it, rather than at mental illness and trying to treat or remove it. It’s an alternative approach, which may be helpful, or offer some relief.
Understanding how the mind works allows us to use our minds more effectively
It’s like reading the instruction manual for a new mobile phone, or following the instructions when putting flat pack furniture together.
If we know how something works, it’s more likely we’ll operate it correctly and to it’s maximum functionality.
Dysfunctional thinking covers up our mental health. That doesn’t mean to say thinking positive thoughts only is the answer. Whilst that may sound good, we can’t change how we automatically think, feel and see things. It’s more complex (& subconscious) than that.
What we can change is our understanding of how thought works in us all to bring our experience to life.
Mental Weather
If you think of the mind as the clear blue sky, our thoughts are more like the passing weather. We can’t control what the weather does. We might be disappointed it’s going to rain instead of being a sunny day, but we don’t go out and try and change the weather.
Our thoughts will come and go without our input or control in the same way. We don’t need to try to change them, we can just accept that we all have mental weather, knowing that underneath it, we have a clear mind that’s mentally healthy. This is freeing and much less serious than believing we have to work everything out to make ourselves feel better.
What to do?
One thing that is certain with the weather is that it will change all by itself. It’s the same with our thoughts, new ones come and go all the time.
Focussing our attention on fears and worries can make those thoughts stick around and feel more important. It’s like poking a bruise, rather than letting it heal as nature intends.
If you feel bogged down or concerned and serious, try to slow down and think of yourself as the clear, blue sky. Stopping for just a moment can help us drop into the present moment, out of our busy minds. You may find that new thoughts come to mind and you move on.
If negative thoughts loop back around again, you can recognise them for what they are, temporary passing mental weather that will blow through by themselves if you leave them alone.
(This was an article I wrote for a local magazine as an introduction to Change Coaching and in particular the emphasis on Mental Health and Well-being.)